All I Ever Wanted
by Bensidylove17
Summary: Loosely based on the promo for the Season 15 finale. "Because I'm ready to pick up where we left off and resume our life together. You just have to say the word." "Even if that life includes a baby?" Bensidy TWO-SHOT.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know I have other stories to update, but this was begging to be written. This is how the finale would go down if I was one of the writers because I support a happy ending for Olivia. It started out as a one-shot but ended up being kind of long so I broke it up into 2 chapters. The second chapter's finished already so the plan is to get it up tomorrow at some point if you're all interested in it. Let me know what you think, here or on twitter Dimonkey17. Thanks :)**

It was seven o'clock on a Wednesday night in the beginning of May. It had been a relatively slow day at the precinct and most of the detectives had already cleared out over an hour ago, eager to get out and enjoy the uncharacteristically warm weather. Olivia was one of the few members of the one-six that remained at her desk. When she finally realized she had been staring at the same blank computer screen for the last twenty-five minutes she decided to pack it in and call it a day. Between all the thoughts swarming around in her head, competing for her undivided attention, there was no way she was going to get this paperwork finished tonight anyway.

This had no doubt been the most trying year of Olivia's life. First there had been Lewis, an ordeal she barely survived and could not get out of her head for the longest time no matter how hard she tried. Then in the midst of her recovery Munch and Cragen both left and she was promoted to commanding officer of special victims. And just when it felt like she was getting her feet back underneath her, she and Brian had broken up, effectively dashing her belief that she had finally found the man she was going to settle down and start a family with. Then when she had thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, there was Lewis again and all the ensuing fallout that almost cost Olivia her job and her reputation. With all of that it was a wonder she was still standing at all.

Not to mention the unending trials of her fellow squad mates. This year had seen Amanda fall off the gambling wagon and Nick almost lose his shield over an incident of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. They had both battled their demons though, and although there was still something slightly off about the two younger detectives which Olivia couldn't quite put her finger on, she had been confident their troubles were behind them as well. That was until Nick got himself arrested three days ago for assaulting Simon Wilkes. They seriously could not catch a break, any of them. Well except for maybe Fin.

As if all of that wasn't enough already, she had also just last week sat through another placement hearing for Baby Boy Doe. A hearing that ended much the same way the previous hearings had ended—with the small child being transferred to yet another foster home, with no prospects for a permanent solution in sight. The injustice of it all left Olivia feeling a mixture of anger at the system and sorrow for the confused little boy who desperately just needed someone to love him.

So now, instead of filling out her fives, Olivia was sitting at her desk consumed by thoughts of Brian, babies, and enough bad luck to last a lifetime or two. While she waited for her computer to shut down she gathered up her purse from the bottom drawer of her desk and slung her light-weight spring jacket over her arm. The pile of untouched files on her desk would remain there until tomorrow. She couldn't concentrate on them here at work; there was no way she was dragging them home so they could sit untouched on her coffee table. As she pushed in her chair and turned to leave she couldn't help but think about the desk's previous occupant.

Sergeant John Munch.

Her dear friend and colleague. She had actually just bumped into him yesterday. He had stopped in at Rikers to visit Nick and afterwards had decided to drop by the squad room and pay the rest of them a visit as well. It had felt so refreshing to catch up but something Munch said caught her completely off guard and had been nagging at her ever since. She replayed the discussion in her mind as she made her way to the elevator.

"_John, can I ask you something?" Olivia waited for Munch to nod his assent before continuing. "Have you ever thought about having kids?"_

_Munch chuckled before answering her. "No, not really. Not after all I've seen in this job. It's funny you should ask though. I had this same conversation with your boyfriend—…"_

"_Ex-boyfriend," Olivia hurried to correct him. She immediately regretted saying the word out loud. Even now, a month after the breakup, it still felt like a knife in her heart to hear Brian referred to in that way._

"_Fine, ex-boyfriend. Anyway," Munch continued, shaking his head, clearly perplexed as to why the couple had parted, "fifteen years ago Brian and I had the same discussion. My feelings now are the same as they were then. Brian, though, he couldn't wait to have a family. Told me he thought about it all the time."_

_Olivia paled as she sank into a nearby chair. The rest of her conversation with Munch was a complete blur. She just kept hearing those last three words over and over like a repeating mantra._

All the time? Olivia still couldn't wrap her head around Munch's words. How could that be true? When she had brought up the topic of having kids and growing old together he hadn't been remotely interested. He just agreed that it was time for them to go their own ways, even though they both so obviously still loved each other. No, Munch must have misunderstood Brian. Or all those years undercover had changed Brian. She certainly wasn't the same person she was fifteen years ago.

No. She had progressed from pushing Brian away because she was completely focused on her career to being willing to let her career take a backseat to a husband and baby. While Brian had reverted from thinking about kids all the time to not wanting kids at all. The irony was not lost on Olivia. The timing in her life always seemed to be just slightly off.

As she stood impatiently waiting for the elevator, her mind made the natural leap from thoughts of Brian to thoughts of Baby Boy Doe, as it had done so many times in the recent days. The judge's words from his last placement hearing came to her, tugging at her already fragile heart.

"_This is Baby Boy Doe's fourth home. Can't we do better?"_

It was the memory of that challenge that prompted Olivia to make a spur of the moment decision on her way out of the precinct that evening. Perhaps she couldn't fix Nick's tricky legal situation. And in all likelihood she'd never find another man to fill the gigantic hole in her heart that Brian had left. But maybe, just maybe, she could change the fate of Baby Boy Doe for the better. With that thought in mind, she got in her car and drove to see the only person she could think of that might be willing and able to help her.

* * *

Olivia wasn't even sure why she was there. This was probably the worst idea she had ever had but once it took root she couldn't get it out of her head. If she was totally honest with herself, this wasn't a fly by night decision; she'd actually been tossing the idea around for the past couple months. So she had to at least try to pursue it or she'd spend an eternity plagued by "what-ifs" and "if onlys". And if she was going to try to adopt Baby Boy Doe she would need a good lawyer. So here she stood at a quarter till eight, knocking on the office door of Trevor Langan. They had had their share of run-ins in the past but he had proved himself to be a tenacious lawyer when she was falsely accused of murder and now he worked family law so logically it seemed he was her best bet.

"Come in," called the deep voice behind the door.

Olivia slowly turned the door handle and made her way cautiously into the moderately sized office. Book shelves lined two of the walls while windows overlooking the busy city made up a third wall. At a large desk positioned in front of the windows sat Trevor Langan, tie loosened, glasses perched on his nose, and a bemused smirk on his face.

"Sergeant Benson, what can I do for you?" he asked, as he motioned for her to take a seat in one of the cozy leather chairs facing his desk.

Olivia wasn't exactly sure how to start so she paused for a moment before getting right to the matter at hand. "I want to adopt a baby. Actually, this baby," she replied as she passed a file across the desk to Trevor.

Trevor opened the folder and casually perused the pictures and documents inside. When he had finished he set the file on his desk and looked back at Olivia. "Well it looks like this baby is a ward of the state which helps, since there are no parents involved fighting for custody, but I should warn you it won't be easy."

"Not easy like there's a one hundred percent chance I won't be allowed to adopt him because of my career no matter how good of a mother I'd be? Or not easy like being the product of a rape, raised by an alcoholic mother, and surviving three sexual assaults, two by the same man? Because I handled the second one. So if there's even a slight chance, I'm willing to take it."

"Okay, well let me ask you this. Your husband, boyfriend, significant other, how does he feel about the adoption? I notice you came alone."

"That's because I am alone," Olivia said with a defeated sigh. "There's no husband or boyfriend waiting at home. It's just me. My boyfriend didn't want children so when I brought up the idea of kids, he split. And before you ask about other family, it's still just me. No parents, no siblings, no nothing. Well other than a brother that I haven't seen in over two years. Is that going to be a problem?"

Trevor pushed his glasses up on the top of his head before responding. "I'm not going to sugar coat things for you. Your demanding job, no support systems—the odds are not stacked in your favor."

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat before replying in a voice barely above a whisper, "That's what I was afraid of. I looked into this six years ago and was turned down for the same reasons. I'm not sure why I let myself believe this time would be any different. Thanks for your time."

Olivia bent over to pick up her purse and coat which she had set on the ground by her feet and was about to stand up when Trevor stopped her.

"Hold on. From what I know about you, if anyone could give this baby a good home it's you. And I'm always up for a good fight. So sit back down and let me go grab some papers for you to fill out and we'll get the ball in motion."

Olivia smiled appreciatively at him as she settled back into the chair. She would have thanked him but she wasn't sure she trusted her voice right at that moment. While she waited she did her best to push the voices out of her head—the voices that told her she was just wasting her time and getting her hopes up for no reason; that no one would ever give her a baby.

A half hour later all of the preliminary paperwork had been filled out. Olivia signed her name on one final form and recapped the pen before handing both objects back to Trevor.

"Okay, that's everything for now. I'll file these papers with the judge tomorrow and I'll let you know when I hear anything. You should expect a visit from Child Protective Services to make sure your home is safe for an infant. They'll want to interview you too—ask you some of the same questions I already asked you; just to make sure you'll be a fit mother. Don't get bogged down on the demanding job and lack of family support system. You have a lot of other really good assets. Sell those. Make them see why you deserve to be that baby's mom. Also if I were you I'd start baby-proofing your apartment a while. You know, safety locks on all the cabinets, minimal alcohol in the house, nothing small where a baby could reach it, make sure you have a safe for your firearm. You might even want to buy some baby supplies; start preparing for a baby to live there."

"I thought I wasn't supposed to get my hopes up. That this wouldn't be easy," Olivia said with trepidation.

"Sometimes if you really want something you have to be willing to take a few risks. Put your heart on the line and trust it won't get squashed," Trevor said with a grin.

The unintended double meaning in Trevor's words was too much for Olivia. She needed to get out of there now before she started crying over Brian in front of Trevor Langan. She quickly gathered up her stuff and stood up.

"Thank you for all your help. I'll be waiting for your call," Olivia said as she turned toward the door.

"Wait." Trevor stopped Olivia from leaving for the second time that evening.

She turned back around and gave him a puzzled look. "I thought you said we were done."

"We are. I was just thinking, I haven't had dinner yet and I was wondering if you'd like to join me. I know this great little bistro only a couple blocks from here."

Olivia immediately knew the place he was referring to. It was the restaurant she and Brian were supposed to go to when she had come home late and they ended up arguing about Lewis, and being tired, and just ordered in instead.

Olivia gave him a weak smile. "Thanks for the offer but I think I'm just gonna head home. I have some baby-proofing to do. And full disclosure, I'm not anywhere close to being over my last failed relationship so…," she trailed off, not really sure how to end her sentence. Talking about her unresolved feelings for Brian seemed like much too personal of a topic to broach with her lawyer, especially a mildly attractive, single one like Trevor Langan.

"I hope this doesn't affect your willingness to help me," she added.

Trevor gave her a half smile before reaching behind Olivia to open the door for her. "Now what kind of lawyer would I be if I let a little rejection get in the way of my professional duty to my client? Don't worry, I'm still in your corner. But can I give you one final piece of unsolicited advice?"

Olivia shook her head in agreement and waited silently for him to continue.

"This ex of yours. It doesn't sound like you're ready to give up on him. Maybe give him another chance. Men can surprise you sometimes. Just because he didn't want a hypothetical baby, doesn't mean he won't change his mind about an actual baby."

"Thanks for trying to help, but I think he made it pretty clear how he felt," Olivia replied. She could feel the tears forming and knew it would only be a matter of seconds before they were spilling down her cheeks. "Thanks again for everything," she choked out before hurrying down the hall and through the door to the stairwell.

Langan was saying something as she walked away but all she could hear were the words "all the time" once again pounding in her head.

* * *

Two weeks later on a Monday evening Olivia sat on the floor of her apartment trying unsuccessfully to construct a crib. Despite the expected obstacles, things were actually progressing in a positive fashion. She had met with Trevor several more times to fill out additional paperwork. She had been cleared by a psychiatrist as a viable candidate for adoption, even though she still struggled with PTSD. Olivia had even had a few supervised visits with Baby Doe over the past two weeks and if possible she fell even more in love with him and his chubby little cheeks every time she saw him. It was going to hit her hard if in the end they didn't award her custody.

The final hurdle was the home visit with Child Protective Services and she had gotten the news from Langan this afternoon that they would be by in the morning to meet with her. Which is why she was now frantically trying to construct baby furniture. She had already purchased clothes and diapers, pacifiers and bottles, a car seat, and every other supply an infant could possibly need. The final step was building a crib and a changing table and she was beginning to wonder why she had waited until the last minute.

It hadn't been this hard to construct the other furniture in her apartment, had it? No, she thought wistfully, because Brian did most of the work. She just handed him tools and read the directions.

She was pulled from her thoughts by a knock at the door.

Maybe that was Fin. He had said he might stop by later to see if she needed any help; made some joke about how just because she could operate a gun didn't mean she could work a screwdriver and a hammer. She had pretended to be offended but the truth was the pile of unassembled crib parts that littered her floor proved he knew what he was talking about.

Standing up and dusting her hands off on her jeans, she made her way to the front door still holding a piece of wood in her one hand. Expecting it to be Fin, she opened the door without checking the peekhole.

Olivia gasped when she pulled the door open and the person on the other side came into view. It wasn't Fin, but Brian who was standing on her doorstep. To say she was shocked would have been an understatement. They had not spoken since that day at the hospital, yet here he was, staring at her with those dreamy hazel eyes of his.

"Hey Olivia." Brian gave her a half hearted smile. The fact that he had not called her Liv was not lost on her. It stung to think that they had lost that familiarity.

"Brian? What are you doing here?" She had intended her words to come off as merely inquisitive but as soon as they left her mouth she heard the harsh tone in them. Brian clearly had too as he took a step back before answering her.

"Uh…well, I'm really sorry to bother you, but um…I've been looking all over for my Whitesnake album and I can't find it anywhere. I was wondering if maybe I left it here. Do you care if I…uh…look around. See if it's still on the shelves?" Brian stumbled over his words. Olivia was unsure if it was just because of the awkwardness of the encounter made worse by her unintended rudeness or because he had another agenda and the album was nothing more than a cover story.

Either way, reluctantly she stepped aside and motioned for him to enter the apartment. "Sure, go ahead. Don't mind the mess."

As Brian made his way down the short hallway he took in the subtle changes. The emptiness was not what surprised him. He knew it would take her a while to fill in the spaces he left. It was the baby bottles on the counter, the neatly folded baby clothing on the couch, the child safety locks on all the cabinet doors, the rocking chair occupying the place where their armchair used to sit, and the makings of what he could only assume was a crib blocking his access to the bookshelf.

Brian slowly turned back around until he was eye to eye with Olivia, a stupefied expression gracing his face. It took him a minute but he was finally about to formulate his thoughts into words. "Are you…pregnant?"

Olivia uttered a bittersweet laugh before she responded. "No. No. I'm not pregnant. I would have told you if I were. I'm actually trying to adopt Baby Boy Doe. You remember, the baby from that case of mine. We found him in the hotel with those little girls."

Brian gradually nodded his head in recognition. He noticed how her eyes lit up as soon as she started talking about the baby.

"Anyway, he's been shuffled in and out of foster homes since we found him so I thought I'd try to give him a permanent home. It's looking good too. The final step in the evaluation process is tomorrow. CPS is coming to my apart-," She paused. It felt wrong to refer to this place as her apartment in front of him. "I mean they're coming to the apartment to make sure it's a safe environment for a baby and to vet me. If I pass, the official adoption hearing will be on Friday."

They stood in awkward silence for a few more minutes before Brian finally spoke again. "Well good for you. I know this is something you really wanted and I'm glad to see you're getting your happy ending even if it couldn't be with me."

Olivia just scoffed. How dare he make it sound like she had willingly chosen this life that didn't include him? She dropped the crib part she held in her hand back on the pile and made her way to the kitchen for a glass of water.

"What did I say?" Brian followed her into the kitchen. He reached out and gently placed his hand on her forearm, which she immediately removed.

"I'm not having this discussion with you again. It's only going to open up old wounds. I said all I needed to say weeks ago," Olivia fumed, pushing past him as she spoke, heading toward the bedroom. "Look for your stupid album and just let yourself out when you're done."

Before Brian could say another word, the bedroom door slammed shut with a resounding thud.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay I guess I've made you wait long enough. Here's part 2. I promise it's happier. Hope you like it :)**

Forty-five minutes later, after crying until there were no more tears left to cry, Olivia emerged from her bedroom, her eyes red and puffy, her nose raw. She was by no means over the pain inflicted by her encounter with Brian but that crib wasn't going to build itself and CPS would be there bright and early. What she saw when she reached the kitchen caused her to stop in her tracks.

The pile of crib pieces no longer blanketed her floor. And the unopened box containing the changing table was now just an empty box sitting by the front door. In their place stood the finished crib and changing table. She looked to the right and saw Brian sitting on the couch drinking a bottle of beer and bracing himself for her reaction.

"What are you still doing here?" she mumbled.

"You're welcome," Brian replied with a frustrated sigh as he stood from his spot on the couch and started to head toward the front door.

"You're right. I'm sorry, that was rude of me," Olivia called to his retreating form. "Thank you. I would've been at this all night otherwise."

"I know," Brian said with a chuckle.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Olivia asked, a twinge of irritation creeping back into her voice.

"It means I remember how much help you were when we put our furniture together. You're a lot of things Liv, but a carpenter is not one of them."

"Yeah I guess you're right. Sorry I snapped at you. But you really didn't need to do any of this. I would have figured it out. You don't owe me anything." That quickly her tone had shifted from one of anger to one of sadness and despair.

"I didn't do it because I owed you. I did it because I love you." Brian gave her that cute little half smile. The same smile he gave her when he said those words for the very first time. It broke her heart as much now as it did then.

As a single tear made its way down her cheek, Olivia managed to choke out the question that had been plaguing her thoughts for days; the question she had to know the answer to before she let him disappear into the night again. "Bri, I talked to Munch a couple weeks ago. Why didn't you ever tell me you thought about having kids with me?"

Brian shifted his weight from one foot to the other while he contemplated how to respond. "Why? Because it never really came up, I guess. I was so afraid of scaring you away I never brought it up on my own. And then when you finally mentioned it, it was because you were looking for an excuse to end things, a way to justify walking away from us. You were so sure I wouldn't want children. So I gave you your out. Believe me, I wanted to say something. But it was easier to let you believe you were right than to spend forever wondering if the only reason we stayed together was because I could give you a baby."

By now the tears were streaming down Olivia's face. She could feel her legs growing weak and she sat on the arm of the sofa to prevent herself from falling over. She had so many things to say to him but she couldn't put together a single coherent thought. Instead she just stared at her former lover as the sobs continued to wrack her small body.

Brian crossed the room until he was standing right next to Olivia and took her hand in his. He gave it a gentle squeeze and placed a quick kiss on the side of her forehead before he continued.

"Seriously Olivia, I've always wanted you to be happy. That's all that matters," Brian continued. "It's the real reason I let you go without a fight. You remember the months leading up to our breakup. I couldn't make you happy no matter how hard I tried. So I stepped away so you could find someone who does make you happy. And now it looks like everything's coming together for you and I won't mess that up. Good luck with the baby Olivia. You're gonna be a great mom. That little boy will be lucky to have you."

With those final parting words he released her hand, gave her a lopsided smile, and headed toward the front door, grabbing his located album as he passed by the bookshelf. When he reached the door, he looked over his shoulder, taking one last glance at the only woman he had ever envisioned a future with. She looked so broken and he wanted nothing more than to rush back to her side, scoop her up in his arms, and hold her until morning. But that would do neither of them any good. So instead he did what needed to be done and walked out the door.

As the door closed behind him he could almost swear he heard Olivia say, "But you do make me happy." He paused a moment to see if she would come running after him. But when the door remained closed and her sobs once again filled his ears, he decided he must have been hearing things and resumed his walk toward the elevator.

* * *

It was Friday morning. The sky was overcast, rain threatening to spill from the clouds at any moment, and traffic on the way to the courthouse had been horrendous. But nothing could spoil Olivia's good mood. The visit with CPS on Tuesday had gone extremely well, better than she ever could have expected, and today was the final adoption hearing. By the end of the day, if all went well, she would officially be a mother to that adorable little boy.

Olivia had not slept a wink the night before, too wired with anticipation. She had tried to lie down and at least sleep for a few hours knowing she probably wouldn't get much sleep in the next few weeks with a new baby in the house. But when the red numbers on her clock read 3:00 and she had done nothing but toss and turn for hours she finally gave up and spent the next several hours pacing the apartment double checking that every last detail was ready for the arrival of her son. So understandably she was a bundle of nerves this morning, and the coffee she had consumed on her way out the door, only served to make her feel more jittery.

Once inside the courthouse, she made her way down the long, imposing corridor, the clacking of her heels echoing as she walked. She stopped outside the assigned courtroom where Trevor Langan was already waiting for her.

"Big day. Are you ready for this?" Langan asked her with a grin.

"More than you could ever imagine," Olivia replied, her radiant smile exuding the glow of motherhood.

"Okay, so ultimately the judge has the final say. But this should be pretty cut and dry. She's already reviewed the psychiatrist's and CPS's findings. She may just ask you a few questions of her own but I'm confident she'll agree that you can provide this child with the best possible home life."

Trevor's words were exactly what Olivia needed to hear but she couldn't stop herself from voicing her one nagging fear, "Even though I'm all alone?"

Before Trevor could answer, a voice from behind Olivia said, "Maybe you don't have to be all alone."

Olivia would know that deep gravely voice anywhere. She slowly turned around until she was face to face with Brian Cassidy.

"Brian? What are you talking about?" Olivia's soft voice cracked as she spoke.

"Counselor, could you give us a moment?" Brian directed his words at Langan.

"Sure thing. I'll see you in the court room Olivia. You've got about ten minutes until they get started."

Brian waited for the door to close behind Langan before he took Olivia by the arm and guided her to a semi-secluded spot in the hallway.

"Why are you here, Bri? And how did you even know where to find me?" Olivia asked, shrugging out of his light grasp. Their encounter earlier in the week had left her a fragile mess and she did not want to dredge up all those feelings today. Not when she just wanted to concentrate on the adoption of her son. So the sooner she could get rid of him and get back to the matter at hand, the better.

"Well I'm going to answer those questions in reverse if you don't mind," Brian said with a little chuckle. He was hurt that she pulled away from him and was trying his best to mask it. "I knew you were here because you told me on Monday that if everything went well with CPS, today was to be the final adoption hearing for Baby Boy Doe, and I knew there was no way you wouldn't impress them."

"You remembered?" Olivia interrupted him, her voice barely a whisper.

"Of course I remembered. I've never forgotten a single thing you ever told me," Brian replied, the genuineness of his words evident. He tentatively reached out and grabbed onto her hand. When she didn't instantly yank it away, he continued. "And to answer your other question, I'm here because…. Because I never should have let you go. Liv you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I knew that fifteen years ago when we first worked together and I still feel that way today. We just let life get in the way of what we had and I'm as much to blame for that as you are. I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I only hung around because I didn't think you were strong enough to get through the Lewis ordeal without me. I was there because I loved you—still do. And sure the past year wasn't as carefree as the first year of our relationship but I never once thought of walking away from you."

He paused to wipe the tears that were unashamedly flowing from her eyes with a tissue he pulled from the pocket of his suit coat.

"So the ball's in your court Olivia," Brian continued. "Do you still think there's someone better out there for both of us? I need to know. Because being apart from you has been the worst pain I've ever felt. But I would rather endure _that_ pain than the pain of knowing you were settling and not experiencing the happiness you deserve—the happiness I so desperately want for you."

"Oh Bri, how could you ever think you didn't make me happy," Olivia managed to choke out through her tears. "I just purely existed before we got together but with you I was actually living my life. I know I wasn't always the best at showing it but I do love you. And these past few weeks without you have made me realize how much I need you too. I hate that because it makes me feel weak, but it's true. I need you in my life, for now and for always." Completely spent from her declaration, she collapsed into his arms, not caring that her tears were leaving their uninvited stain on the shoulder of his suit jacket.

Brian wrapped his arms around and whispered against her hair, "Needing me doesn't make you weak Liv. If that was true, I'd be the weakest person in the whole frickin' world because I need you like I need air. I know that sounds corny, but it's the truth."

He soothingly rubbed her back until her sobs had subsided to mere sniffles. He handed her another tissue and waited for her to wipe her eyes and blow her nose.

"So does that mean you're willing to give us another try," he asked her. "Because I'm ready to pick up where we left off and resume our life together. You just have to say the word."

Olivia peered up at him and willed herself to ask the question that could very well be the deal breaker. "Even if that life includes a baby?"

Brian took her face in his hands, gently cupping her cheeks, and looked deep into her dark brown eyes before he responded. "Absolutely babe."

Olivia felt her heart skip a beat. "Are you sure about this Brian? You've never even met him."

"You love him, don't you? That's enough for me," Brian replied, grinning from ear to ear. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Olivia's lips. The kiss was full of longing and had they not been in a public place, under a time constraint, they would have happily allowed themselves to get caught up in the passion. Unfortunately that would have to wait until later.

When they reluctantly broke apart Brian murmured in Olivia's ear, "Let's go get us a baby," before taking her hand and leading her into the courtroom.

They had just taken their seats when the judge entered the room. Observing court room protocol they rose from their seats and remained standing until the gray haired woman had taken her place. As they returned to their seats, Brian gave Olivia's knee a reassuring squeeze before wrapping his arm securely around her shoulder.

The court proceedings went as smoothly as Langan had predicted they would. The judge asked Olivia a few basic questions which she answered with ease before declaring that she saw absolutely no reason why Olivia should not be awarded permanent custody of Baby Boy Doe.

"It is the opinion of this court that Olivia Benson is more than capable of providing this child with a stable home environment. And as no biological parents have stepped forward to claim the minor, on this twenty-first day of May, two thousand fourteen, I hereby bestow full custody of Baby Boy Doe on Sergeant Olivia Benson. Congratulations."

The next few moments flashed by in a blur for Olivia. She vaguely remembered shaking Trevor's hand and muttering a few thousand "thank yous" before he packed up his briefcase and left. There was also a hazy memory of the judge instructing a courtroom attendant to go get the baby and bring him to his mother. The one thing she remembered with absolute clarity was Brian gathering her up in his warm embrace as soon as the judge finished talking—both of them shedding tears of joy.

She was still leaning against Brian, wiping her tears, when a young woman with long brown hair entered the courtroom holding the chubby dark haired baby along with a diaper bag containing his few belongings.

"There he is. Our son," Olivia exclaimed, her voice full of pride. She reached out and gladly accepted the little boy from the young woman, immediately snuggling him against her chest, breathing in his sweet baby scent.

"So this is Baby Boy Benson?" Brian asked incredulously, as he traced his finger along the baby's soft cheek, carefully taking in all of his delicate features. It was one thing to talk about the baby but another thing entirely to actually see him and touch him. He was the most adorable baby Brian had ever encountered. Overwhelmed with emotion, he couldn't stop a few more tears from escaping from his eyes. "He's perfect Liv."

"Yeah he is. But I think you mean Baby Boy Cassidy," Olivia corrected him, smiling up at her boyfriend.

"Are you sure about that Liv? You're his legal guardian, not me."

"Yeah but you're gonna be his dad so he should have your last name. I mean it's going to be my last name at some point anyway, right?" Olivia held her breath as she waited for his response. Maybe she had pushed too far, too fast. Just because they had reconciled didn't mean he was ready to rush into marriage, but she was caught up in the moment, enjoying the feeling of finally having a family of her own.

"Well if you must know, that was the plan. But now you've ruined the surprise," he said teasingly.

Olivia released the breath she had been holding and laughed, causing the baby to giggle and kick his tiny feet. "It sounds like this little guy likes that idea," Olivia chuckled. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Definitely." Brian gingerly took the baby from Olivia's arms and cradled him in his own strong arms.

Olivia's heart practically burst as she watched her boyfriend tickle their son under his chin, while babbling unintelligible baby talk words to the little boy. She could contently watch this scene for hours upon hours. Up until today this image had only existed in her dreams but now after years of waiting it was finally her reality.

Olivia was pulled from her thoughts by the baby starting to fuss. Brian was gently rocking him in an attempt to calm him down but the crying continued. "What's wrong little one?" Olivia cooed at her son.

"I think he's saying he's ready to get out of here," Brian volunteered. "What do you say Liv? You ready to take this little guy home? Go spend the rest of the day getting acquainted with our son?"

"There is nothing I'd like more," Olivia replied. She took her fussing child back from Brian and held him against her shoulder, tenderly patting his back, as they stood to leave. Together they made their way out of the courthouse toward Olivia's car, Brian's hand resting protectively on the small of Olivia's back. When they got to her car, they loaded the baby into his car seat and Olivia rode in the back with him while Brian drove the car back to her apartment.

By the time they arrived at the apartment the baby's whimpers had progressed to full-blown angry wails.

"You still sure you made the right choice?" Olivia said with a laugh, raising her voice to be heard above the crying as they entered the apartment.

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life," Brian reassured her. "It's going to take a lot more than a little crying to scare me away."

While the crying continued, Brian and Olivia took turns changing into more comfortable clothing-luckily Brian had left a pair of sweatpants and some t-shirts behind when he moved out-and Olivia swiftly changed the little boy's diaper and put him in a dark blue sleeper. Then as quickly as she could Olivia made up a bottle for the fussing baby. And now the family of three was sitting snuggled on the couch together—Brian with his back against the arm of the couch and his legs wrapped around Olivia who was leaning back against his chest and holding her son, watching him hungrily sucking on his bottle.

Brian carefully ran his fingers through Olivia's hair as her spoke, an action he had missed dearly in their time apart. "So are we just gonna call him Baby Boy forever or did you have a name in mind for our little man?"

"Well I had a few thoughts but I want us to name him together."

"Okay, well what were you thinking?"

"I like the names Evan, Colton, and Brady," Olivia replied, taking the bottle out of the baby's mouth and lifting him to her shoulder to burp him. She lightly patted his back while she waited for Brian's assessment of the names.

"Evan Cassidy," Brian mused, trying out the name. Looking over Olivia's shoulder he examined the baby's dark hair and eyes, chubby cheeks, tiny button nose, and full pink lips. "I like it. And he even looks like an Evan."

Evan chose that moment to make a tiny happy gurgling noise as if he was voicing his agreement, causing both Brian and Olivia to laugh.

"Well I guess he likes it too. Evan it is. What about a middle name?" Brian asked, still laughing at his son's antics.

Olivia shifted slightly so she could see Brian's face. "I was thinking maybe we could name him after his dad. What do you think of Evan Brian Cassidy?"

It took Brian a minute to respond and when he finally did his voice was heavy with emotion. "I think it's perfect. Thank you."

"I should be the one thanking you. For giving me a life a thousand times better than anything I ever dreamed of. I love you so much Brian Cassidy and I am so excited to be raising this baby—our baby—with you. Just promise me you'll never leave again. I barely survived losing you the first time. I can't even imagine losing you again."

"You and Evan have nothing to worry about babe. I'm all in. You are never getting rid of me now. Even if you wanted to," Brian replied with a chuckle. He leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on the top of his son's head before sharing a deep, sensual kiss with Olivia.

When they finally broke apart, Olivia relaxed back into Brian's embrace and repositioned Evan so he was lying curled up on her chest. Brian stifled a yawn as he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and his son. Even though it was only one o'clock in the afternoon, it had already been a long, action-packed day for all of them and in a matter of a few minutes they were all sound asleep on the couch, exactly where they belonged.


End file.
